This is so not life at all
HungryBut that is, in a way, how I feel. That this isn't my life. Maybe my outlooks on some things have changed; I don't know. But I DO know that some aspects of my life are about to be changed, and very much so. I'm going to a new school next year - an art high school in San Francisco. I was so ecstatic and astonished when I found out I got in. I've made some new friends, and I'm now closer to some old ones. And... I've lost some. I'm certainly not one to hold grudges, but that does not, under any circumstances, mean that those who lost it will not have to work to gain my trust again. If you can't be nice, and if you can't put in a little effort to the relationship: I give up on you and on us.
On the other hand... even though I've gone through a lot over the past few moths, most of which I'm not going to mention now, I'm really looking forward to next week, the months to come (
summer!), and next year (it'll be weird to go to school and actually enjoy it) . Also, I'm going to delete this account and make another one... soon... I'll probably post an entry right before I do, though.
(This is my new account on here and I can prove it to you if you wish I guess?)
I was actually just thinking about you and how some people come and go from your life but still leave significant impact the other day so this is pretty ironic. But cool. Also, my new DS is "PAND0RA" but I can't find yours?
I sent you a message there already.
I desire to speak with you about some deep shit but before I get into it, I need to gauge how far in you are yourself.
Call me crazy but I think there's something to the Israelites being called God's People from some points of view. I woke up a few months ago and suddenly I was surrounded in a world of meaning, where before I was in a world of objective nothingness. This reminds me of some descriptions of what it is to be a Gentile or a Jew in the spiritual sense, though I never profess to have everything right.
I am after all on a crash course into studying things... I haven't made it more than several pages into the Kabbalah... There's so much to learn and read, so much brain training to do, and so much time eaten up by responsibilities that don't matter except in the short term (gotta eat, gotta finish what you start [school...another degree]).
Mostly I just want to know what you've been taught in regards to Jewish culture. I would rather learn from someone who has their blood than from webpages which might be ...biased? at best.
Also I saw you mentioned on DS something about extended family. It made me really curious. If you ever want to talk, I'm here. Even if I'm too crazy to give you useful advice, I'll really listen at least. It's all I've really got to offer in return for the information you know.
Haha, this sounds so weird. It is good to hear from you again, you always struck me as special... I remember that picture of you with your hair darker, curly and long. There's another where you have the six-pointed star around your neck and you've got this mysterious stare. Haha. Don't be too flattered, my memory seems to pick up a lot more than I'd even like sometimes..
--
With the sun and the moon overhead,
Died and was reborn in a mirror,
I swear to God I was fucking dead:
10 minutes later, a light in my head.
--
"If we have a chance, it has to begin by people accepting that they can
be proud of who they are without despising who someone else is." -Bill
Clinton.
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put your boots and courage on and run
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