... or so says one of the songs in Spring Awakening, which is, in my opinion, is just a really queer and obscene version of High School Musical. Sadly, most my theatre friends are obsessed with the first, and even worse, some are in the local youth theater's production of the second. ><

But that is, in a way, how I feel. That this isn't my life. Maybe my outlooks on some things have changed; I don't know. But I DO know that some aspects of my life are about to be changed, and very much so. I'm going to a new school next year - an art high school in San Francisco. I was so ecstatic and astonished when I found out I got in. I've made some new friends, and I'm now closer to some old ones. And... I've lost some. I'm certainly not one to hold grudges, but that does not, under any circumstances, mean that those who lost it will not have to work to gain my trust again. If you can't be nice, and if you can't put in a little effort to the relationship: I give up on you and on us.

On the other hand... even though I've gone through a lot over the past few moths, most of which I'm not going to mention now, I'm really looking forward to next week, the months to come (summer!), and next year (it'll be weird to go to school and actually enjoy it) .

Also, I'm going to delete this account and make another one... soon... I'll probably post an entry right before I do, though.

I can be so blond sometimes. It's disgusting. I wish I was talented, or smart, or pretty, but we all like to wish, now don't we? There's this frightening aspect to my personality that's been peeking out of me these past few months. It's not new, but hasn't shown up for a while. I think it only appears when there's drama going on, and I intentionally get involved.

But there's something I want. So I suppose all that doesn't matter because I've finally gotten my real wish. I was tired of being immune to desire, and now that I'm not (for this at least), I WANT. With every part of me. I know the downside, but I don't care a bit, not anymore.

So I'll wait. Wait for that and for her. I've given up on everyone else, but she's worth more than all of them combined - by a long shot. So for those of you who think I should "take a moment to think of someone else for a change," I do. Just not you, or the rest of you who follow me like a lost puppy.

Relationships, like many other things, depend on mutual effort. But I've given you far too many chances, and you were so blind to how I felt about you. Why do think I put up with you for so long?

I've made some new friends, and I've learned some things in the process, but being human (and American) I want MORE. which brings me back to my original point: I want. So bad it hurts. It's a weird, brand new feeling, but still, I'm glad it's here.

Bleh.

*groundhog*
lol

I'm changing accounts soon. I'll update once there's more info.
Life is so stressful and complicated right now.
So this kinda made my day complete.
[link]

In San Francisco, there is an annual ball inspired by the work of Edward Gorey. For those of you who live in the Bay Area, I highly recommend going next year.

[link]

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On another note, I'm still fretting over the TV thing mentioned in the previous entry... And an... erm... "friend" thing. But at least she's back home, and all in one piece. (Is it wrong to be sad that I didn't get a chance to see her?)

Oh, I forgot. I'm sore as hell.